"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles, the will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:31
I wanted to share my testimony that I wrote to submit to Bethany for our initial application. Some of it might be redundant for those of you who have read the blog. This is the first time that I've written my testimony. I've always said I didn't have much of a testimony. God has changed that.
My Testimony
By: Kim Martin
What does it mean to really know Christ? It’s taken me almost thirty years to truly figure it out, but I’d like to tell you a little bit about my story. I grew up in the Catholic Church. My mom took me and my sister to church and Sunday school every Sunday. I never really wanted to go, and honestly, the highlight of my Sunday morning was the stop at the donut store on the way home from church. I went through the motions, and I was mostly there under Mom’s strict orders.
In high school, my faith grew stronger as I began searching for answers. I had a close group of friends who I started a bible study with. When I was fifteen, I went through confirmation, and that is when I was saved. I made the personal decision then to invite Christ into my heart and accept His gift of salvation. During the summer before I left for college, I read the New Testament, and my faith was more solid than ever. I believed strongly in God, but I was lacking knowledge in some of the key components of Christianity. I memorized bible verses and prayed before I went to sleep most nights, but now looking back, I realize that my relationship with Christ was more superficial rather than the deep, spiritual communion He desires to have with us. Throughout high school and college, I would describe my faith as a roller coaster…high and low with ups and downs.
In college, I met the man of my dreams. He was genuinely the nicest person I had ever met, and I quickly fell in love with him. We had many “God talks”, and we went to church together, but we also had nights of fun and partying. Knowing what I know now, I realize that we were both a little lost, and God had brought us to each other to ultimately grow up together in Him. Michael is, without a doubt, the biggest blessing God has ever given me other than His only Son. In March of 2007, I married my best friend, and we vowed to put God at the center of our marriage.
We went to Meadow Grove Baptist Church where we got married and where Michael’s uncle preaches. We attended church every Sunday, but we were quick to sneak in and out without really diving into all the church has to offer. We were selfish and a little intimidated to jump right in and get involved. We went to Meadow Grove almost 5 years before we really WENT to Meadow Grove.
And then just when you think your life is just about perfect, God turns it upside down. I had never really faced any hardships throughout my life. In fact, things usually went exactly the way I planned. I had the most wonderful family and friends, pursuing the profession of my dreams, the perfect husband, good health…there was only one thing lacking in my little American dream. Ever since I was old enough to understand, I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world. In my perfect fairytale, I would get married then we would start our family about 2 years later. Let’s just say, God had different plans for us. Our infertility broke my heart in two. I cried almost every night, and there were times when I was angry with God. We spent unlimited time, money, and resources trying to get pregnant. It was during this time, that God began to change us both and draw us in closer to Him. For the first time in my life, I had to trust and depend on God in a way I never had before.
Michael and I began praying and doing bible studies together. We officially joined the church in August of 2010 and got involved in Sunday school and missions. I was baptized in front of my church on my 28th birthday renewing the commitment I made when I was fifteen and following the example that Christ set in Matthew 3:13-17. It was an incredible feeling coming up out of the water knowing that my sins were washed away with Jesus’s blood, and God had given me the gift of eternal life through His Son, Jesus. My preacher said he was proud of me for being brave and demonstrating that baptism was not just for children. We both knew it was so much more than that. We attend church and Sunday school every Sunday along with every activity or speaker associated with the Orphan Ministry. I am involved in a women’s Christian book club, and we participate in local missions. We have come to realize the true meaning of the church that was established under Jesus’s instruction.
In March of 2011, Michael and I went on a mission trip to Honduras, and it changed my life forever. God taught me so much on that trip, and my love for Him and His people magnified to new bounds. Up to that point, I had been consumed with my infertility and my selfish desires. I left Honduras consumed with and full of something else…the Holy Spirit. God began to give me a peace that I had never felt before as I slowly began to relinquish control of my life to Him. How could I have ever thought that my plans were better than His? How could I have ever been mad at Him for not giving me what I wanted? I know now that God has a much bigger and better plan for me that I never could have dreamed up myself. I love Him and trust Him like I never have before. Throughout this “curse” of infertility, God has given me the meaningful relationship with Him that I have been in search of for 15 years. That gift is the best gift of all.
Throughout our infertility, God has opened our hearts to adoption. And I’m certain it’s God because it’s something I never would have imagined on my own. The fact that I’ve come to this point, and I have such a peace that transcends all understanding verifies that only God could have brought me here. And He continues to confirm this decision daily. I am amazed at His love and promises as I realize the transformation that has occurred in us over the past 3 years. I am so excited to know that God has a child out there that He has made or is making for us to love. We will raise our children in a home where God is glorified every day of the week, not just at church on Sundays. We will pray with them, teach scripture, take them on mission trips, have bible studies, be involved in the church, and most importantly, we will set a godly example for them. We know that He is entrusting one of His precious children to us, and we refuse to fail Him.
I find particular encouragement and confirmation through Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5-6, and Romans 12:2. I have memorized these verses, and I hold them very close to my heart. I find comfort and strength in knowing that God has a perfect plan for my life, and if I put all my trust and faith in Him, He will reveal His good, pleasing, and perfect will to me. Now that He has revealed His will for our family, we are so excited to see where He leads us. God teaches us to love Him with all of our heart, mind, soul, and strength, to love others, and to glorify Him in all that we do. Throughout our adoption, we are confident that we are living out God’s will for us, and we have never been so happy.
